…they watch me pee.
When I was living in Florida working for Starbucks, we would get the most ridiculous customers. It made me lose all faith in the human race. Eventually I figured, no, it’s just this town. The rest of the world cannot be this bad. Then I moved to Delaware and for a short time worked in Starbucks. The customers did not improve. Eventually I quit Starbucks and worked in Build a Bear where I was just blown away with people. I mean, come on who spends hundreds of dollars on ONE stuffed animal? And then wont donate a one single dollar to children with heart disease or whatever the charity of the month was. The people weren’t as bad there though so I slowly kind of forgot how silly humans are. I finally found a job in the Hotel Dupont coffee shop. I have been there two weeks and I am starting to lose faith in humans again. I have realised, we do not know how to properly communicate anymore. We point to things and say “I want that one” and when presented with the question “Which one?” we get irritated and say “That one!” instead of “The blueberry muffin.” or even a simple “Can I please have a blueberry muffin?” at the very beginning of the conversation, eliminating all need for the whole “Which one…” conversation in the first place. People order things from a menu without even knowing what is in it. Personally, when I want to eat or drink I want to find out everything about the item I might be putting into my body. If there are no menu descriptions, I say “Oh, what is [insert unknown menu item here]?”. If someone is looking at me, and I am looking at a menu on the wall behind them I would not expect them to know what I mean if I said “I want that.” and then proceed to point to something on the menu. I mean…honestly? I forgot how amazed I could be with people over and over. It really shouldn’t surprise me anymore, but each time I have an encounter with someone like this I just want to stare at them and make them really uncomfortable and then say “Ok. Walk out of this place right now. Then walk back in and be a normal human being.” And I am not talking about teenagers here. I am talking about very important business men and women. People who have degrees upon degrees and figure out the important stuff in the world. Its shocking, really. And yet I love it. In my strange ridiculous way I love it. I want to write it down and write a book, but I know people would probably not buy it because…well…they are those people. Only people who also realize these people are strange would buy it and I think those people are few and far between. When I tell my fellow coworkers about the encounters they don’t understand what I am talking about.
Even one of my bosses does silly ridiculous things. Like, calling me down to the dining room so that I can go into the kitchen and make a cafe au lait. So I walk all the way down, with an empty cup, and then just stare at the kitchen. She proceeds to walk to the coffee and point, saying “This is the decaf, this is the regular.” I then walk beside her and fill the cup halfway with coffee. Then I look at the machine and look underneath the counter and she walks back over and says “What do you need?” And I say “Milk?” and she walks to the refrigerator and says here is the skim milk, the whole milk is on the other side. So I then walk right beside her and pull out the milk. Walking back to the machine I look around and say “Do you have pitchers?” And a waiter guy says “What?” and I say “Pitchers….to steam the milk?” And he just stares at me and says “What??” And I am thinking, “Look. I know you make cappuccinos. Just give me the freaking pitcher.” but instead I say “You know, a pitcher…Like if you were going to make a cappuccino?” And my manager walks back over to me, and picks up a PLASTIC cup and hands it to me and says “Here, steam it in this.” And I look at her, because Dupont is all about safety and all I can think is “Oh..my gosh. This is going to melt, burn my hand and make me spill milk everywhere, then I will really be in everyone’s way and have to clean up a huge mess…” So I say “Steam it in this??” and they all look at me like I’m the one who is stupid and say “Yeah?” So I went “ok…” and proceeded to attempt steaming the milk in the pitcher, thinking “Why in the world is she making me do this?” She is watching me. I then pour the milk into the coffee and she seems satisfied and hands me a bag of macaroons and tells me to give it to the customer for her wait. So I walk out of the door with my manager and give the coffee to the lady. The lady hands me a $20 bill and I say, “Oh, it’s only $2 dollars.” I then have to ask my manager where I can get change. She tells me “Just go into the kitchen and ask the bartender.” So back I go, into the kitchen and walk to the bar…which is empty. I ask the only waitress I know what to do and she says “Oh I will get him for you!” What she really meant was “I will get him for you after I fill this basket slowly with bread and take it to my table.” So she leaves and the bartender happens to walk in and says “Can I help you?” and I show him the twenty, flash my smile and say “Hi, I need change please.” and he says “Oh, the front desk didn’t have any?” I proceeded to explain my instructions and we walk to the cash register. I told him a simple $10, $5, four $1 and four quarters would be best and he FREAKS out saying “I don’t have quarters!!!” I say “Oh! That’s ok…just five ones then please.” So I go back to the customer and give her the change. Then walk back down to the coffee shop. All this time I cannot figure out why they had me come to the dining room to make this overly simple drink, where my manager literally walked every step I did. Was it to prove a point? I have no idea. But it seemed overly ridiculous to me.
It’s these moments that cause me to smile and laugh at the world. It makes me feel smart, and adds one more thing I will never have my employees do when I own my own shop. I will never waste two peoples (mine and the customers) time for any reason.
The people make me think, “Is it worth it? Is it really worth these people…I could get a job sitting at a desk, not talking to anyone, not killing my feet, not stressing over milk orders, and broken espresso machines. I could just sit in silence and be completely happy.” But it is worth it. It really is, because once in a while you get a customer who makes you feel like you are doing an amazing job and you’re an amazing person. And then on the way home you stop at the gas station you love because they have those big bottles of Fiji water and he tells you his day is better because you came in. He says you’re the happiest person he knows, and that your smile makes him feel really good. It makes life a bit more bearable and a little more worthwhile. I love strangers. I love when I get to talk to the business men in the mornings and ask them how their morning is going so far, even though they just got to work. Or when I get to ask them random questions and make them talk to me and you can tell they are just happy that someone actually cares in their life other than family. The business world is tough, cut throat and mean. It’s nice to be able to go into a place and have a ten second conversation with someone about nothing, but know that in that moment someone wants to talk you. They know we don’t have to do that. They know I don’t have to compliment them, or ask them how their son is doing in baseball. I don’t have to care at all. I can smile and say “Have a nice day” and not mean it, but still be doing my job. I can be impersonal and make the experience last two seconds and forget them. Instead I remember their name, their drink, their sons last birthday, the fact that they like the plain bagel toasted on seven with lots of butter and a diet coke (even though we serve Pepsi).
What they don’t know is how much those moments mean to me. Because when I leave I go home to my pervert cats, and my iPod. I drink my Fiji water and think about the smiles on their faces and how one day I can do things exactly the way I want them. They don’t know I think my neighbors think I’m weird or that I want to travel the world. How I think I am a little person in a big big world and will never make a difference, other than putting a smile on someones face. They don’t understand how satisfying my job can be if I let it be. How they are the ones who get me through the tough behind-the-scenes conflicts and disappointments. And that’s ok. They will come and go, the faces will change, new stories will be told, and all the while I will be the constant in that little place. They are all the outside contact I need and want at this point in my life.
I love my job. And I think humans are completely ridiculous. It’s really my own personal oxymoron.
xx
